its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
