there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
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