angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
