omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize