evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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