Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Randomize