i don't plan on having that self control this summer
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
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