Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Randomize
