I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
