Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Randomize
