I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Randomize
