I can tuck mytits in my pants
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
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