are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
Randomize
