am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Randomize
