Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
