I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Randomize
