Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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