I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
