I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Randomize
