i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Randomize
