question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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