I wannas sexs uuuuu
I just pynch a tree in the face
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize