pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
