I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
