I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Randomize
