its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
