her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
we're so committed to being not committed
Randomize
