brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
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