dude i'm inner monologue high
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
