I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
