I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
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