Who did Billy Mays play for?
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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