you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Randomize
