oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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