my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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