ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Randomize
