Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Randomize
