i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
