just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Randomize
