i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
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