So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize