you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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