smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
