Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Randomize
