Small penises have feelings too.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
