its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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