Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
