Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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