Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
We got so high we made milksteak
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
