I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
