I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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