And the cops told us we were all naked.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
