i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
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