Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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