YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Randomize
