i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
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I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
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